Nealmeister

A SAGging Profession of Love

I'm having trouble watching the State of the Union address with my complete and undivided attention.  Something about being tired and "having ADD" and instead being distracted by some of the fotos from the 2008 Screen Actor Guild Awards.  Let me tell you, some hideous clothing and hairstyles draped the bodies of our friends in Hollywood.  But, some things don't change (completely).  That includes the eternal hotness of Jeremy Piven and Eva Longoria.

I've professed my mancrush before (scroll down to 'Piven my Pivens').   I still haven't upgraded my Comcast package to include HBO, though.  That's too bad, since I'm missing all this Entourage.   

Ok, maybe I should pay attention to the SOTUA a bit more closely.  I'm a Government major for Christ's sake!

Mike's, Juno and HIPAA forms

What a great, lazy day.  Some people from Northwestern Mutual came to my house to interrogate me for life insurance stuff.  I napped.  I blogged.  I went to the gym.  And me and Jess took the Corolla up to Showcase Cinemas in Revere, saw Juno, and then came to Charlestown (stopping off, of course, at Mike's Roast Beef on Broadway).  Ok, I just sounded like a first grader writing a composition on "what did you do on Saturday?"

So, Juno was ok.  So were the chicken finger platters from Mike's.  But for some reason, the rerun of Saturday Night Live from October is friggin' hilarious!  I think the Amy Moehler skit with Bon Jovi started off a night of goodness.

Anyway, here's the quote of the day: "So, do you want me to sign you up a HIPAA form so I can release my sex records to you?"   ooops...

In re: Addicted to House

Alex, through his girlfriend, has got me addicted to House MD now.  I guess it's not surprising that I like another hospital-based or CSI-based TV show.  And I'm not surprised that I'm opting to stay in tonight and watch season one.  This has got to be the good side of the writer's strike: there's a lot of catch up to be done, so now, it's being done.

The House quip of the night came from Chase, the seminary school quip.  I guess it's not really his entirely; some of it comes from the Bible:

"I was in seminary school. They asked us once what our favorite passage was. I chose 1 Peter 1:7. 'These trials only test your faith to see whether or not it is strong and pure. Your faith is being tested as fire tests gold and purifies it.'"

Are you a "Seagull Manager?"

My assistant sent me the 2008 additions to the essential vocab works for the workplace.  Reminds me of a conversation I had with Alan when we were driving up to Madison, Wisconsin.  I just had to post.  I may just forward it, too...

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Often feel like doing this to my comput er------

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

In re: Relaxing

I'm just a is just a lazy, idle, lemon-poppy-seed muffin lovin' iripino today.  I could really use some warm weather and surfing right now and just hanging out for about 10 days or so.  Awhhhh (relaxed, refreshing awhhhh).

Via EfrankE on Flicker

I Hate Being "Pregnant"

I can't explain what happened last night.  Well, I can, but that would be no fun.  You'll have to see me to find out what happened on the Wednesday night pub crawl that started at Silvertone, landed us at Beantown, and eventually, well, see the 12:15AM post.  Somewhere in between, we actually watched American Idol, too.  Maybe that's where I decided to throw in the towel and get wasted!

I have to proclaim: I'm really not used to going out on weeknights anymore.  I never thought I'd say that, but I guess, I guess I actually am having a mature relationship with alcohol now.  There's another explanation, though: after law school, I let the lame gene kick in and would chronically miss happy hour, intentionally, unintentionally, even sometimes against my will.  I replaced Men's Club at Sully's with Pirate's Booty and Grey's Anatomy.  I swapped Hong Kong and teriyaki strips with Boston Sports Club and MetRX protein shakes. 

Anyway, last night was crazy beyond all imaginable proportions.  Lots of drama went down.  I can tell you that the next 18 months will be lots of fun.  It's funny how the scenic view at bars gets better with alcohol, along with my propensity to just keep on talking, keep on playing, keep on drinking.  Let's use facebook and people's wall posts from facebook to tell a story:

[Pediatric Resident] wrote
at 12:15am on January 17th, 2008

Why aren't you at cluib cafea wit us! Me and [Rum-n-Cokes] miss yous!

[fluffy] wrote
at 10:28am on January 17th, 2008

umm... life = terrifying right now

[60657] wrote
at 10:30am on January 17th, 2008

just got your message....lol.  thanks for the b-day wishes.  :)  how you feelin this morning?  =p

[60657] wrote
at 10:31am on January 17th, 2008

lol....i love the message on [Pediatric Resident]'s wall. 
drink some gatorade, [fluffy].  =p

[Pediatric Resident] wrote
at 11:14am on January 17th, 2008

thank god for apple juice!
 

[Pediatric Resident] wrote
at 11:20am on January 17th, 2008

you mean you're not pregnant too?

[Rum-n-Cokes] wrote
at 4:56pm on January 17th, 2008

morning sickness sucks

[Pediatric Resident] wrote
at 6:02pm on January 17th, 2008

The fetus kicking inside of me is making me sick, clearly...

The Bad Gift Emporium

We had the "bad gift" raffle at work today.  Basically, everyone brings in gifts that they did not particularly like receiving over the Christmas/holiday season, and it gets raffled off for charity. I ended up with Goldie Retriever from Kits n' Kaboodle.  Now, I never win anything.  How timely it is that I end up winning a microwaveable neck wrap.  Jess and I are bound to have fun freaking each other out with this thing as we watch House and Grey's.  Here's what this thing can help me out with

- Cramps
- Neck and Shoulder Ache
- Hand Pain
- Migraine(frozen)
- Hot Flashes(frozen)
- Engorged Breasts

I have problems with the last one.  Procrastination.  See
http://www.badgiftemporium.com/

In re: "Boston's Lame"

Another night out with the K-Rome (not to be confused with K-Ro), a/k/a "Keesha," and more "Hey Girl Hey" rattling through my head than my head can handle.  Dallas lost and the Giants won.  The Pats won... again.  There's a snowstorm... again, but it was a sucky and lame snow storm at best up here in Boston.  Anyway, while I'm feeling the heat of "morning sickness" because I'm "pregnant," I totally forgot what I was going to say (aside that I am not looking forward to shoveling my driveway when I get home tonight).  So here, enjoy (via urban dictionary):

1:Hey girl hey
2:Heyyy, what's up?
1:Nothing much
2:That's cool
1:Hey girl hey, I'm gonna go... HEY GIRL HEYYY

America Runs on Dunkin (Round 3 starts now)

My mouth can't form these words...

So I totally got screwed out of Patriots' tickets.  I totally got screwed out of a Christmas grab present.  And I totally got screwed out of a free coffee at Dunkin Donuts.  But I can't hate on the last one, and it won't make it to the Bitch List compilation that will come out at the end of 2008. 

Between my undying loyalty to Dunkins and my unfettered love for Dunkin's commercials [like  Bleachers ("I'm freezing at peewee hockey"), or Fritalian ("My mouth can't form these words"), and yes, all tracked to They Must Be Giants courtesy of Hill Holiday] and the entire "America Runs on Dunkin advertising campaign," I come upon upon an epi[/MESSAGE CLIPPED/]

Are They Might Be Giants 'freezing at Pee Wee hockey?' We're pretty sure. [via: AdvertisingAge]

When you have a "I Hate My Job" day... Try out an Urban Legend

My little buddy K-Ro down in NYC sensed that I, we, me (among others) were having the "we're 26 and having the January blues... boy, only being able to afford Natty Lite seems like a great position in which to be" mode.  So, what I better suggestion than to try an urban legend and see if it works:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.  Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.Now the fun part begins Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement:"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."  Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson."

"Have a nice day and remember, there is always someone else with a job that is more of a pain in the ass than yours!"  '

Ok, that was cheesy.  But it's the weekend, kinda, sorta!